KB’s Space!

Mommy to an angel

My brain is where? July 19, 2009

So, yes we lost another baby. We are heartbroken. And my brain is just going in sane. I feel as if I’m about to lose it. It doesn’t help that JB is gone for two weeks with military training. He’s not having the best of times emotionally either. How could this of happened to us again? Why do we get the crappy end of the stick? I mean seriously, have we not been through enough already?? (more…)

 

Sad update July 17, 2009

I sadly update that we have lost another baby. On 7/9/09 my OB called to report that my HCG levels dropped down to 20 and then I ended up bleeding not too long after the phone call from my OB. We are heartbroken once again. Wondering when we’ll get our big break and be able to have a living child to brighten our days. My OB said that we are able to try again right away because I was only 5 weeks along, but I think with the packing and the moving and the craziness associated with the military, we are going to wait until we are settled in and the stress goes down. I know that JB is really torn up over this. He just opened up about Jayden and then this hits and its hitting him all at once. ūüė¶ I just want to hug him but he’s gone for two weeks for annual training. So send some prayers his way.

That’s all I have for today – I’ll update later.
KB
*Mommy to two angels in heaven*

 

Finally Pregnant Again! July 6, 2009

That’s right, we are finally pregnant again. It’s been 5 months of trying since we lost our precious angel. And while no baby will ever replace our sweet baby Jayden, I’m comforted to say that this new baby has his/her guardian angel of their own. I know Jayden will be watching over them and taking care of them and JB and I. (more…)

 

HERE! May 19, 2009

Alright, so I’m back in action. The vacation was wonderful but I am now home and getting back into a routine. I am now officially counting down until my 22nd birthday (32 days) and until we head to vegas for Kristin (sister) & Jason’s wedding (86 days)!

We are also trying to figure out a time to take a trip to Canada to meet up with our new canadian friends we met on the cruise ūüôā So that should be in the near future too!

Life is sort of back to normal. ¬†Mother’s day went better than I had expected although all we did was sleep in an airport – but that was perfectly fine with me. Not much to remind me which day it was except for the few lovely text messages (thank you!!) and a screaming newborn in front of us on the plane (figures right?)

Mom came over and helped me clean ¬†the house this weekend! It was much needed since the the friends, who were staying with us until they found a place, found a place to call home. Dad fixed the toilet and messed with the water heater and mom and I cleaned/mowed the grass… okay mom did that – I admit i’ve never touched a lawn mower in my life – nor do I plan to. I consider that JOSH’S chore (except when mom comes to do it lol). I don’t like getting dirty with grass stains.

Anyway, JB is in Nashville tomorrow so I’ll be working and then starting to tear in to my big black whole. (AKA my office). ¬†I get all of our bills via e-mail so the fact that I also get paper mail doesn’t quite work for me. I have a HUGE pile of mail that just needs to be shredded but our poor shredder can only handle 3 pages at a time – so it takes quite a while to do. I also need to clean out everything in the office because we are planning on re-doing my office!! YAY! making it into an official craft space and craft space alone. My sewing machine will finally have a place of it’s own on an uncrowded desk and¬†plenty¬†of storage and shelving with room to grow!

Emotionally, things have been good. More good days than bad are starting to come, though those bad days can sure catch you off guard! TTC is getting frustrating. I know 3 months is nothing to a lot of people who try for years. But for me, it seems like an eternity. My brain thinks I should be pg 3 months ago and my heart knows i should already have a baby in my arms. So that on top of trying is just beyond my emotional control some days. I’m crossing my fingers as this week was “the week” particularly yesterday and today. JB left for Nashville today though so now it’s the waiting period again. This month I have not charted temps and fluids because I find myself to get overly anxious and stressed. So this month I’ve just stuck to peed on a stick (I’m¬†addicted lol) and using the fertility monitor which tells you what day your fertile. And I have noticed a lot less stress. So we’ll see…. Check back in 10 +/- days for that result.¬†

JB is good. Back to work and traveling for the military. He LOVED the cruise and we are ready to plan our next cruise vacation! Hopefully to Bahamas/eastern Caribbean! 

Well back to work! 

xo, KB

 

I’m back again! May 1, 2009

Alright I guess I need to update a little bit. I’ve been absent for a week. (more…)

 

Seriously? April 18, 2009

Well once again these last few days have been horrible. We got our final blood test result back. (more…)

 

maternal/fetal specialist March 24, 2009

Well we had our first (of many) appointments with our maternal/fetal specialist. Dr. S was great. You can tell that he knows what he is doing. (Thank goodness!!) (more…)