Yup another week down!! A week or so ago my OB had trouble finding the heartbeat and had to push in and it was way down by my pubic bone. Yesterday I got out my doppler and I found the heartbeat immediately and I also got it one inch below my belly button! So the baby is growing growing growing!! I took a belly picture today. I looked this big when I was 20 weeks with Jayden LOL. But I sure don’t mind. It’s finally sinking in that I’m really pregnant. It’s proof I need. I’ve also felt a little bit of movement. But not much and I’m trying not to focus on it because until it’s a constant thing, I don’t want to worry myself over kicks and how the baby is doing when s/he doesn’t kick.
I do have to say that the christmas stuff in the stores are really making my anxiety go through the roof. It just kind of hit me hard when we walked into the store. I’ve been dreading christmas for months now. Jayden was born on the 30th but they said he passed away 24-48 hours prior to us going in on the 28th (so that makes 26th-27th of december). It’s just going to be a rough week before his birthday. And it’s his first birthday. I want to celebrate but it will be so hard to through all of the sad emotions. I’ve honestly started to think skipping christmas would work out, but I know that isn’t want Jayden would want. And being with family will probably be better than locking myself in my house alone and crying anyway. (lol). We’ll see, I’m taking it one day at a time….. I need to quit thinking a head and focus on today I suppose! I’m thankful for each day that I am pregnant with this little peanut, it’s just hard not to think of the “what-ifs” of the future.
Anyway!! Here’s to another week! (cheers! with some OJ lol). Here is my belly photo!